In this post, you will:
Discover building blocks for your core identity.
Coach U resources to reveal lies and reinforce truth in your core belief system.
As mentioned in our previous post your identity equals your value. If you did not read that post, please do so before reading further, The Value of Identity. The reason why we say that identity equals value is because your identity influences your core belief system. The flip side is also true if you are a star athlete but somewhere along the way you picked up a lie that you cannot run, that belief will influence and skew your perspective. You may ask, how do these lies creep into my core belief system? A belief is formed by evidence that is seen and experienced over time. At some point you are faced with a choice, do I believe that this evidence is true about me? When you accept it, and it is reinforced by more evidence it becomes a core belief. For example, as a child, a parent tells you that you will amount to nothing, going to school kids reinforce it by bullying you, and a teacher scolds you and tells you that you will get nowhere. This constant “false” evidence reinforced by multiple sources brings you to a place of choosing to accept what is said about you. Adolf Hitler once said, and I paraphrase, if you say something loud enough for long enough it becomes true.
Because our core beliefs determine our thoughts and our thoughts determine our actions, the effects of lies within our identity skew our self-worth and the worth we place on others.
This brings us to the question, how do we determine what is true and what is not true about us? The absolute truth is that our true value and identity are found in the person of Jesus Christ. The Bible teaches that our identity is found in Christ. Colossians 3:10 says that we are being renewed according to the image of Christ. I believe that Paul is speaking about getting rid of lies that have been embedded into our core beliefs.
Getting rid of lies in our belief system
Getting rid of lies in our core belief system starts with the truth, not the lie.
One of the biggest limiters in growing in your identity is focusing on the lie that has limited us in the first place. Think about it like this, if you have a goal to be healthier, you do not go and sit outside fast food restaurants and declare that you are free of junk food and healthier. No, you change your lifestyle and align your lifestyle with who you want to be. The strange thing is that when it comes to our identities we try and overcome lies in our core belief system by focusing on them. This approach gets us stuck in a cycle of failure and further “false” evidence of the very beliefs that we want to change.
The three building blocks of changing a belief are seeking evidence of the truth, acting according to the truth, and breaking the cycle of muscle memory. For the remainder of this blog post, we will focus on seeking evidence of the truth. We will discuss the other two building blocks in the following posts.
Coach U
Seek evidence of the truth
By seeking evidence of the truth we are intentionally looking for proof of the opposite of the lie in our belief system. Firstly, we want to reveal the lie. We do this by listening to our self-talk. Our self-talk continually reveals what our core beliefs are. If you continually say to yourself, “Agh you are so stupid,” it reveals that you have accepted a lie that speaks about your base capability and competency. If you have this lie in your core belief system it does not matter how accomplished or trained you become, you will default to the core belief (lie) that says you are stupid.
Seeking evidence of the truth intentionally changes the focus and acknowledges the truth.
In our example, celebrate and acknowledge every time you do something well. Invite others to assist you with this, and let them point out where you do things well. The more you acknowledge the truth the weaker the lie becomes.
Ask yourself:
What does my self-talk sound like?
What is the truth, the opposite of the lie in my core belief system?
What is the evidence of the truth? (Ask others to assist you to see the truth.)
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© 2023 Ivan Venter, All Rights Reserved.
Photo by Laurenz Kleinheider on Unsplash
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