Managing stress – What is in your control?
- ivan venter
- Feb 22, 2024
- 3 min read
In this blog post:
Discover how to overcome feelings of being out of control and helpless.
In this, our second blog post on managing stress, we will be looking at a simple question that when left unanswered can result in stress spiralling out of control. In many cases, things that cause an unhealthy amount of stress are completely out of our control. What causes stress is that we want things to work out in a certain way but have no control over it. This leads to uncertainty or fear because we are relying on circumstances or people, outside our control, to act in a manner we want them to. This can lead to a feeling or being out of control because fear and uncertainty may leave us with the perception that we are unable to act or do anything about our situation.
What is your belief about your response?
While coaching various clients, I have found that those who believe that they can take at least one step toward progress, even if they don’t know what the step is, have a much higher rate of discovering actions that can lead them forward. The other side is also true that clients who had a belief that there is nothing that can be done, struggle to make progress. The wonderful thing about coaching and the love of God is that anyone can work through these struggles.
The solution starts with what you believe about your ability to make progress – not the severity of the situation.
When you believe you can make progress, your mind actively searches for a step you can take. If, however, you believe that nothing can be done, your mind shuts down ignoring potential actions you can take. The approach I take in coaching people through this type of mental bluntness is by helping them to firstly look back over their life to see how they had made progress in other areas of life and secondly to help them discover that they have value and skills.
Once we make progress in self-value and acknowledgement of skills then we move to response.
Respond to actions.
Response is the act of discovering and responding to actions that can be taken. Many people can see what needs to be done or what can be done but not many people believe they can or should do anything about it. I want to specifically address what I believe is a misconception within Christianity. Many Christians whom I coach have a go-to answer when facing challenges, which is ‘God will work everything out’ but do not want to act on any actions God provided. And yes, while it is most certainly true that God wants to work it out, God uses people to work miracles.
God presents the solution but then expects us to respond to what He offers.
Control is a perception.
The truth is that because of all the variables in life, we do not have control over anything. The only thing that we have control over is our response and actions.
When we focus on our response to opportunities and challenges, we create an atmosphere of hope and action.
Coach U
Looking back over your life, where did you contribute or make a difference? Don’t overthink this, just answer the first thing that comes to mind.
What are three skills and talents that you have, write down your answer.
Identify an area of life where you have felt out of control and helpless. With the above in mind, what is one action that you can take to move forward? Remember, look for the smallest action that you can think of.
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© 2024 Ivan Venter, All Rights Reserved.
Photo by Sivani Bandaru on Unsplash
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