In this post:
What is constructive feedback?
Set yourself up for constructive feedback.
How feedback uncovers blind spots.
Some years ago, I was giving a sermon in a village. I shared a lot of scripture and felt proud of my “comprehensive” knowledge of the Bible. After the sermon, I drove home with one of my colleagues. He gently and cautiously shared with me that while he could see that I have memorised a lot of scripture, I should remember that the point of preaching is to share a message that would reveal Jesus and not to show my Biblical prowess…(to be continued)
Most of us have experienced the value of constructive feedback, someone that genuinely cares about you, shares their take on the situation which sparks learning and growth in you. With these positive experiences, we can certainly also mention unhelpful and destructive feedback that derails and distracts from growth. In this blog post, we will look at ways to receive constructive feedback that uncovers blind spots and leads to growth.
What is constructive feedback?
There are two types of feedback relationships, formal and informal. Formal feedback relationships exist between mentors and mentees or within organisational management structures and in most cases will be defined by a specific role, task, or project. Informal feedback relationships are found in everyday life. People are giving feedback all the time, whether it be about a holiday they took or social interaction.
When carefully approached these everyday interactions of feedback may reveal blind spots and generate growth.
Thank you for your feedback.
Because feedback is associated with improvement, most people do not like it because it may be interpreted as negative or judgemental. For this reason, we should recognize that feedback is never impartial or completely objective. Feedback is always someone’s opinion, which is subject to their own experiences and observations. It is not the whole picture, but a perspective of a limited view.
A helpful way to find constructive feedback is to have a growth attitude toward feedback.
Inside most feedback, there are some helpful nuggets that may reveal growth points and uncover blind spots.
We are in other words not listening with a wall of defense but with a heart to find what is helpful.
My story continued: At first, I felt sorry for myself but after reflecting on what my colleague said, I realised that he was right. I was not focused on what God was saying to the people but rather on myself. This feedback uncovered a blind spot. I was looking for validation, that I am a good preacher instead of keeping my eyes on Jesus. I thanked my colleague for his feedback and refocused my preaching on what matters, Jesus. Because I was focused on growth, I was able to hear and draw from what he was sharing with me.
Coach U
Here are some helpful questions that you can ask yourself to find what is constructive in everyday feedback. What is my attitude in general towards feedback? In what ways can I be more focused on growth when receiving feedback?
In cases where you become emotional when people give feedback, ask yourself: If my value is not determined by what others think but only by Jesus’ opinion of me, how can I refocus my eyes on Jesus and move forward?
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